We have heard from our friends and family that opposites attract. We have heard it so often that it almost seems like the truth. But is it so? Well, research says that apparently, we aren’t exactly most compatible with people who are our opposite. We are most attracted to people who are similar to us across a variety of characteristics. These characteristics could include physical attractiveness, financial stability, emotional expressions, education, religion, class, desire for children, and a few alike. These similarities are also proven as the pillars that help to lead a better and smoother married life. 

This blog entails some evidence-based compatibility and attraction facts about relationships in detail. Let us read and understand, together, whether opposites really attract or not...

Why Do We Believe That Opposites Attract?

If you’re wondering is there real psychology behind the popular phrase "opposites attract" in relationships? Clinical trials and several studies say it is more a myth than a fact. 

This myth may have been popularized by the concept like magnets we humans also are attracted to our opposites polar. Further to this, the perception is viewed repeatedly in old romantic movies where people have seen the good girl attracted to the bad boy. Likewise, witnessing a shy friend who is attracted to an outgoing and friendly person may have further evolved this concept to make sense that they (opposite traits people) would be a good match.

And, inopportunely, relating to the instances, we mistakenly started believing that complementary personalities make for better, stronger, healthier relationships. Scientific evidence has proven, however, that this is not true.

Identify the Pros and Cons of Dating Your Opposite

To better understand the fact about the attraction factor in relationships, it is very important to take a look at some of the pros and cons of dating someone who is your opposite.

Pros of dating someone who is your opposite are:

  • You may learn to compromise
  • You can learn how to be more patient and empathetic
  • There may be greater opportunities to learn new things
  • The excitement may be more intense

Cons of courting someone who is your opposite are:

  • Might not be sustainable long term if excitement wears off
  • More potential for disagreements
  • Requires better and more frequent communication
  • You may find you both have widely differing lifestyles and goals

How to Find a Compatible Partner?

The most important ingredient in a relationship is compatibility. It is the foundation of how well you and your partner can get along together. Things like having complementary astrology signs or being physically attracted to each other can only indicate surface-level compatibility. However, sharing the same values, beliefs, interests, goals, lifestyle choices, etc., are the traits that often implicate true compatibility. Therefore the first and the most essential step in finding a compatible partner is to know ‘yourself’. 

Knowing yourself means understanding your core values, needs, and goals and being aware of the contradictions in your personality like things where you can compromise, the qualities you would admire in a partner, your weaknesses, your triggers, etc., can help you to rightly identify a person who may align with your interests and priorities and can also accept your imperfection.

If you and your partner are not compatible with each other, you may have different views and approaches to things, which can lead to difficulty communicating and frequent conflict in the relationship. Therefore, do not go with the adage, opposites attract. Instead, believe in the saying – ‘Birds of the same feather flock together’ – when it comes to choosing a compatible partner.


As per the research, it has been found that couples with complementary attitudes are generally more satisfied with their partners. This means that a couple, where both spouses are dominating, is likely to be less content in terms of compatibility than a couple where one is dominating and the other one submissive. If you closely look at these concepts based on the research, you’ll realize that you may find your “perfect” partner in a person with a complementary attitude and similar tastes. So now you know where to begin your search! All said, choosing a partner is a premeditated decision, and rightly so.

If you have any query related to relationship challenges that stem from having opposite opinions, core values, or backgrounds, or you're striving to identify more compatible partners, you can consult a Psychologist at Ask a Doctor 24x7. Our counselor/therapist can help you develop healthier relationships or resolve the struggle for healthy attachment with your current partner. Do not hesitate, just seek our support to nurture healthy, happy relationship bonds.

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Disclaimer: Information provided on this page is not intended to substitute for proper medical advice provided by your healthcare professional. This is only for informational purposes.

About the Author

Priya Singh

Priya Singh is a professional writer and editor with 13 years of experience in writing/editing health and lifestyle content for diverse verticals such as magazine, newspaper, and digital media.

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