Breakups and divorces can cause considerable depression and mental distress as we tend to be immensely involved in our relationships and with our partner. Sudden severing of communication and emotional ties - during breakup - feels akin to an assault on the body, mind and spirit. Various studies have shown that the part of the brain that reacts to physical pain also lights up during social rejection; in other words, during breakups.

Scroll through the list below to find 8 simple steps that would help you to take charge to begin the journey to healing.

1) Unfollow your ex on social media

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Research has shown that the neurological excitement that we get from the social rewards of using social media apps does rewire our brain, thereby making our brains look a lot like an addict. In this day and age, with access to social media, it is easy to keep a tab on the information regarding our ex's. During a breakup, we are more likely to obsess and ruminate over our ex, and in that obsession might turn to social media to have some form of access to them, thereby never truly moving on from them. In such scenarios, it is in your own as well as your ex’s best interests to unfollow them on social media, giving yourself the chance to finally put your obsession to rest.

2) Focus on health and fitness

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While it might seem tempting to lie in bed all day and allow oneself to wallow in self-pity, channeling all that stress and tension you experience over the break-up into a new fitness routine is a sure-fire healthy way to focus on yourself and to get back on your feet. The body releases hormones known as endorphins into the bloodstream. These hormones are the body’s natural stress and painkillers. Stick to a consistent fitness routine and chase your stress away!

3) Control mourning

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Psychologists from all across the world say, during psychotherapy sessions, patients are told not to repress their feelings as it will only make it more intense, giving it more power over you than the other way around. Set down a time limit, take a day off from life and allow yourself to cry. Talk and vent your feelings out to a trusted friend or loved one. Let yourself feel all the anger and sadness and bring it into the light to be dealt with.

However, at the end of that time limit, once you gather some strength to continue with life, your everyday routine, make a conscious effort to put your sadness behind you and move on with your life.

4) Surround yourself with loved ones

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During breakups, it is not uncommon to feel unloved and be overcome by feelings of worthlessness. It is important for your mental health and self-esteem to remind yourself that you still have family and friends who care about you. Plan quality time with your loved ones. Surround yourself with close friends and family. Giving and receiving love doesn’t just end with lovers and spouses.

5) Get back to your hobbies

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Channeling your obsession about the break-up and your ex into a new hobby is a productive way to learn something new and improve one’s skills. Trying out new hobbies gives us the opportunity to grow and put our new-found skills into good use!

6) Pen down your feelings on paper

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Writing down how one feels has been known to be therapeutic, giving you a safe way to vent. Sometimes, writing down how we feel allows us to analyze the situation in an objective way, giving us the chance to figure out what went wrong with the relationship.

7) Get involved in charity work

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Getting involved in charity work and to be of service to others not only helps us focus our energy on people other than ourselves but is also a low-cost way to treat depression. Research has shown that “Positive activity interventions”-- any activity that involves helping and serving people for a positive outcome, such as charity work, has been known to increase positive feelings of well-being and happiness in people suffering from depression.

8) Talk to a counselor/therapist

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Relationships and the people that we attract and keep in our lives are either a reflection of something that needs to be worked on within ourselves or something we feel is missing within us. Talk to a counselor. Therapy will help root out the source of the issue, thereby preventing you from attracting the same situations or people again.

Although we cannot change our past, but we can certainly learn from negative life-experiences such as breakups, as it helps us grow as individuals; preventing us from repeating the same patterns of behavior or mistakes. So, be patient with yourself. And bear in mind that all wounds take time to heal, and heartbreaks are no different. At the end of the day, you are your own best ally!

For any query related to mental and emotional health you can consult a Psychologist at

About the Author

Yeshvanthi Vasudevan

Yeshvanthi Vasudevan is a Content Editor for Ebix Software India, Pvt, Ltd. She has a special interest in content writing and her previous work experience also includes freelance content writing for Bonorganics.

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